The Clanging Tongue

I swear someone in here’s tongue is made from a cymbal. Not to put too fine a point on it, but if they clang that thing one more time, I’m gonna go John Bonham on their mouth. But at least they’re young, at least they’re attractive, at least they are plugged in. They are talking now about a new show on TV. Which streaming service is it on? Now they are talking about streaming services and hardware that plugs them in. Now she’s clanging on and on about the size of her TV. And I am literally standing here right in front of her now, the only one who hasn’t parachuted out of this conversation, and I am nodding my head with no understanding.

It’s dark outside, and I can’t see the sky. We are all there is to look at.

You’re somewhere in this room, but I won’t look for you. I won’t look for you because I know you’re here. I heard you a second ago shouting out over the crowd to take another shot. And someone just now screamed back in your face. Now you are smiling as you line them up. I can’t see through your eyes, but you said one time that this is the part where they get blurry. You never could remember the time I walked you through the crowd on new year’s eve, after the fireworks when everyone was going home, when I took you by the hand and bounced with you off their shoulders.

I turn around and find myself facing a group of three men who have, with me, made a perfect square. We each line one side of our square, making room for one another. Did you hear? I just heard. Johnny CEO was indicted today at 5:45 p.m. eastern time. It says it right here, indicted and expected to face grand jury... In a city I’ve never seen, by people I’ve never met. ...And if you don’t care about that, the man directly across from me says, then I don’t know who you are. Most people don’t care. Then that’s what’s wrong today. 

Come here come here come here, someone pulls me away. We need a tiebreaker. And I was right there. Would you rather 1) go with the team to an escape room, or 2) ride with the team in a hot air balloon? I ask, is this a trick question? The better of two worst case scenarios? No, is the answer. No, these are the two team events we are deciding between. Clang clang clang goes that tongue.

Take this shot.

Okay.

Have you ever been to Lake Tahoe?

No.

How have you never been to Lake Tahoe? Do you ski? Do you snowboard? Do you enjoy nature to any degree? I Looooooove Tahoeeeeeee, someone screams. She loves Tahoe, says the man who had been standing across from me in the square.

The stereo screeches when someone can’t plug their phone into it properly. And I see you look at me. But you don’t come over.

A dance song released sometime last year comes on. The keyboards are clear, the high hats are high, and the voice is so clean that it sounds like it’s coming in from some elevated dimension, from a shower there. And though no one dances, a few heads and shoulders start to subtly bow. This DJ died last week. Do you think he’ll appear in DC? I think he has to. It’s not his first indictment.

Someone is painting light across the ceiling. 

And we are captivated.

I just got this last week. Demonic visions spread across the sky. It looks like Kandinsky. What model did you say this is? The new one. It just came out last week. I think the battery is about to die. And then the painting in light disappears back into the box.

Someone turns up the volume, and our voices grow louder too. She’s really clanging on that tongue now. Someone else comes out of the bathroom singing. The chorus has arrived. My aunt was on that plane, the one where the engine exploded and the woman in the window seat was halfway sucked out the window. She said they thought they were all gonna die, that the blood was everywhere. As I listen, I imagine someone on the plane stealing the wallet out of the woman’s purse as she lay in the narrow aisle dying. I hadn’t heard about this story. I haven’t heard about many stories. I haven’t bought many new models of things. 

It’s only a minute before someone asks for my opinion on digital currencies. Ruuuuuuuuun. What do you think I should do? Try not to claim it on my taxes? An absolute and best truth can’t be known, but it wouldn’t matter if you told him anyway, because there’s no chance he’s remembering tomorrow.

I don’t know…. I tell him instead ….How to know how long is too long to go holding in your pee. They say it’s bad for your bladder, I dunno, is it? 

Well, let’s find out! and he pulls out his phone to look it up but gets instantly distracted looking something else up instead. I get distracted too. Out the window, in the distance, the hills have polished off the sunset. 

Help me, someone says. And there’s absolutely no telling what she means. Help me, she asks again. You look like you’re doing okay. Noooooo, I mean, help me call a ride, remember? I gave you my phone. You are holding onto it for meeeee. No I’m not; in my pocket I feel a phone, and, yup, there’s a phone in there. I’m getting on a plane in an hour. 

Okay. Better her than, well, anyone else in the world. I’m going home to see my father (I love my father). I love my father. 

Okay.

Did you hear Johnny CEO got indicted? someone new says. They’re talking about it over there; go talk to them about it. I have to be at the airport in an hour, and I need a car, help me pleassssse. If she tells me one more time to get her a car, I’m going to throw her phone off the damn roof, and I think she deserves to know that, so I tell her and place her phone in her hand. What’s wrong with you??? she asks. And that’s when the eyes start looking. Everything okay?

It’s all happening all at once.

The phone lady starts talking about how much she paid for her plane ticket, and an invisible hand directs me away. She won’t make her plane. Hope to god she tries.

What did you do last weekend? Ate spaghetti. What are you doing next weekend? Eating spaghetti. Have you ever been to? Oh my god yes; have you ever been to? The lights flick on and off in rhythm with the song. A basketball game is on TV. Actually, those are the highlights. 

I love my father; tomorrow’s his birthday. It’s a surprise.

Some new guy in the room dances. He dances around everybody, anybody. And now he is actually dancing ‘around’ everybody. You’re in the bathroom now, I think.

Did you know they actually make chocolate covered in gold? Just like those coins. Not quite. And worth a lot more. The gold is edible too. I’d try it.

Try this, someone says, and a pentagon of shots comes out. 

I just want you to be okay.

I just want you to be okay. Are you talking to me? No, I’m talking to the shot. There’s that inevitable perfect silence before everyone around issues out an identical: Gahhhhh.

More?

Probably.

Definitely.

Would you rather: have a martini with Bill Cosby or have sex with Kim Jong Il? Is this the next team activity? No, it’s a game. I’m pretty sure Kim Jong Il is dead...like, significantly so. I meant Un. Un. Is that your answer? Sure.

They won by how much? Dude dude look. So pretty. Such a pretty dunk.

The cymbal tongue clangs but it’s covered in light now. The battery is charged on the light painter and it’s being held up to her face. And now the cymbal doesn’t sound all that loud, because the sound is up on the SPORTS HIGHLIGHTS. The sound is up on the SONG. The sound is up on the DANCER. The sound is up on the NEWS, on JOHNNY CEO. The sound is up on the LIGHT. 

The sound is up on everything. The sound is up to here.

Someone takes me by the hand. 

It’s you. You draw me. You draw me through the room. You draw me out the side door. And outside you stop. You stop perfectly still and stand before me. You’re perfectly quiet a moment and then you look to me, smile, and you say, “I love you.”

.

.

.

“I love you too.”