How to Have an Affair in 2 minutes

BEFORE YOU BEGIN

First, meet someone, find them infatuating, and then reach the point, wherever that point is in the universe, where you say you are in love with them. That part usually takes more than two minutes. How much more depends on you.

Here is the part that takes two minutes:

STEP 1

Confess love so beautiful it should be forbidden. This will probably take up most of the two minutes. 

It will. 

You can say things like, “There’s magic in your touch.” 

Or, “I watched a soundless dream shout itself into reality.”

Where, geographically, this part takes place makes no difference. Parking lot. Hospital room. On top of a grave. To you, it makes absolutely no difference. But keep in mind that if anyone is ever watching this happen in a movie, they’re going to take the setting as a metaphor. Foreshadowing maybe. 

Who’s fooling anyone? You won’t keep that in mind.

Touch them, you fool. There is no wrong place in love. There is no time. There is no time at all.

You are a perpetual circle of love. It will never die. Confess.

STEP 2

Be in love for a moment. 

Don’t question it. Just be there. Trust me. Just be there for as long as you possibly can. Make it last as long as you can. But this part will only last a few seconds.

STEP 3

Depart perfectly fulfilled by love, be hit by a passing car, and die. No no.

It won’t be that forgiving, sorry to say. 

What happens is, just at the peak of love, you accidentally remember your own name. You had forgotten it somewhere along the way.

You come to believe that without your name you have nothing, and, even worse, if you have nothing you have nothing to give. What’s the point of loving then, with nothing to give? But in giving, how can you keep from forgetting?

So, now, having remembered yourself, you look over love. Lost. You walk away, and you feel absolutely, just wonderfully,

A

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K